You Found Me
Profilectlx.Carlene Tan Li Xuan 11th July 1988. Currently 23+. Studied in St. Anthony's Canossian Primary and Secondary School, SRJC (first 3 months), TPJC, NUS FASS (econs). loves family, friends, chocs, western desserts, yellow, etc etc.
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Saturday, December 31, 2005this must me the first time i'm crying on chinese new year eve. feel like shit right now. dun wanna disturb my buddies, and ya. i guess maybe i'm not understanding enough, i dunno. i mean great. ok, just let me rant. i'm disappointed, upset and down. and great, its new years eve, and my eyes are wet, turning dry. i think i'll have no more tears to cry, just wanna hug someone. rightnow.
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorheartdoyouhavequiz/">What Color Heart Do You Have? hm... interesting how in a short test u get such conclusions huh... haha.. ok... well, my paternal grandparents cooked up a sumptous meal today, as in seriously sumptous, we were having steamboat in fact with abalone. why the feast? well, simply cos my uncle and most importantly, my cousin came for dinner today. they hardly ever come, in fact i don't really get to see them until chinese new year. and my granny doesn't get to see my couisn since he's on a scholarship to America. yup, well, but she said it was for new year so... ok. ah wells. on a lighter note.. i bought this green top for 10 bucks!! whee!! it looks cute on me(according to my sis) ok.. so ya. =) hopefully she's right? hehe... yup... my parents were sort of quarelling in the car just now... left me to think about loads of stuff. my mum wants my sis to fnish her goldstar even though she's already gotten her survivor certs, could tell my sis wasn't too happy. ah wells. Friday, December 30, 2005hey peeps.. first and foremost.. wishing everyone a HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!may all your dreams come true, and to all taking majoy exams next year, like my sis and bro and everyone out there, all the best and may we score with flying colours. let us all work hard together k.. especially those taking extra stressful exams like the a's. may we all persevere till the end! cheers to us!! well, the sinma peeps gathered yesterday, a real disappointment i was, couldn't make it due to tuition and partially mum. ok, i know it kinda sounds ridiculous. whose mum wouldn't let them out at this age rite? ya, i know, but my mum doesn't. she thinks going out <10> so anyhow... recieved this really sweet e-mail with beautiful quotes which really makes me ponder. wanted to put it up here but i wonder if its copyrighted.. =X so ya, didn't take the risk. i wanted to forward the mail but there were just too many attachments and i didn't know how to get rid of the unneccessary ones. so ya... i know, total nutcase at computers. =( alright, i'll end off here. take care everyone!!! oh btw, my dogs finally back!! thanks to kr who helped me host the pic. thank u!! Monday, December 26, 2005alright, i've been plaing badminton for the past 3 days straight. 2 days training(which was an absolute killer after losing my stamina) and today, which was with my sisters and wei keat. and my family of course. super ex lar today, like 7.40 an hour. madness.anyways, just wanted to write something which kinda struck me after my mum said something. we were talking in the car yesterday, as in the whole family. and erm, as we were about to get down the car, she said something to my bro, something like "yu wei, u use to be such a lovable boy, but now, pple run away when they see u, cos u r so ill-mannered... " or something along tt line. then she added "li xuan, u also, tt's y pple dun like to talk to u" or something like tt. i was really startled. i mean i never thought of it tt way. i mean when i'm with pple i don't really know that well, i'm nearly as quiet as a mouse and i seem to only open up a little with pple i'm more familiar with, but i didn't know it was so bad. i mean i didn't realise pple didn't like to talk to me, or at least i didn't think it'd be a chore to talk to me. so ya. ok, guess maybe i should just keep quiet before i offend the whole world sooner or later. and maybe i shouldn't talk to my mum tt much. mayb tt'll be better. ah wells, felt kinda sad after i heard tt, i mean who wouldn't be rite. somemore its coming from ur very own mum. sheesh. *shrugs* ok, moving on. stayed over at my uncle's place last night. didn't sleep too well, guess i wasn't use to the surroundings. ate banana prata this morning. it was lovely. erm, i had to clear my bowels, twice, after i reached home. this proves banana prevents constipation. =D ok, went over to scruffy's house for a little "party". his mum was baking all sorts of nice stuff like tarts so on and so forth. didn't eat much, guess i was shy. haha. felt kinda awkward lar actually. so ya, erm, but the tarts r really good. (thumbs up) haha. alright now. i'm done with today's entry. tata everyone. and take GOOD care ya. see ya soon!!! =) Saturday, December 24, 2005first. i wanna wish one and all a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! =D may all ur wishes and dreams come true.. oh ya oh ya... and have a SMASHING NEW YEAR!!! chliche i know.. haha.. but ya, short post. gotta go.. need to wrap last minute pressies. whee!! my fav hobby.. tata now!!!Monday, December 19, 2005Well. let me start by telling ALL those born in the year of the dragon tt 2006 is SO not going to be our year. k, my mum got this calender from this temple and there states(in chinese) how each animal would perform in the year 2006, the luck and so on. and it so happens, my grandpa translated the dragon babies(which includes me *weeps*) to be as follow:nothing, and i really mean NOTHING will be good for us. first, NOTHING will go our way, or as planned. for example, you think that the outcome of something will be like this.. but it comes out the opposite way. or u reckon a question to be asked that way, but it just comes out the unexpected way. and NOTHING will go your way. you wish the bus doesn't leave when u reach the bus stop, the bus leaves the MOMENT u reach the bus stop. and thus, u spend a LOT of money next year too... why? cos the bus leaves and thus, u gotta take a cab. waste money. (oh, btw, this example is from my grandpa. innovative huh). and BIG sickness will come, we will all fall very ill, so we should all take extra caution. Things that has got no relation to u suddenly has everything to do with u. its like not bothering pple, but they keep finding things to put blame on u. all our lucky stars have ran away, and no matter how hard we try to avoid the "enemy" it stand right before us, disallowing any escape. There would be many small quarrels between friends and thus, we should all take note when such things happen and be more forgiving with each other ok? so ya, that's for the dragons in 2006. just great huh.. so i guess we all just gotta be really careful with our words and what we do next year. and we all gotta work extra hard ya.. =X *when anyone wants to vear children, it should always be even numbered, because when its odd, 1 always feels left out. and tt's how i feel. seriously i want to slap my brother many a times. he is so freaking rude ok, i don't think i ever saw any sibling so rude to their older siblings as my brother is. and u know what's the worse part. everytime i tell my mum to watch over him. she says i just got something against him. so she ALWAYS tells him "don't go so close to ur sister lar, she don't like u, come here." u know how much i wanna punch her. i mean she doesn't even know a single thing he does behind her back. he's an ANGEL to her, and i'm the devil, sucking up all her money. marvellous. when i get whacked by him, she doesn't see it, why? he plans it JUST nice. and i do try to be very tolerant and just ignore. but he continues. i mean i'm not a patient person as everyone knows so its hard u know. when he wants me to do something in front of my mum, its manners. when its behind my mum's back, "li xuan. help me take that." and when i say "can't u take it urself", he says "cannot! i very tired 1 leh." ya great, as if only him inthe whole entire universe is tired. and my sis is ARGH!!! i mean its OBVIOUS she wants to diet. so why not just admit it?? i mean there's nothing wrong with saying "i'm on a diet" right?? i dun get it. and u know what's the worse part? she says "oh ya, i'm trying to diet but i can't" yeah right. i mean like look who skips breakfast every morning. i think she just wants me to be fatter than her lar. so sick. and she always says "i'm very full" when she didn't even eat. what irony. can't stand pple who lie to themselves. i mean ok, go ahead and decieve urself but don't say things bout others. i mean hello, u don't have to say me cos i do want to diet too, and its NOT working cos i'm like so gaining weight. i think i really owe every single person in this family, except my dad. he seems to give me the least of problems. hm... and he's really nice. my mum doesn't think tt way though. she's FOREVER talking bad about my dad in front of us. i mean i've said it before rite. internal conflicts can be so sick. seriously i think ALL mothers are the same. its "BOYS ARE GREAT!!"and "girls are just out to suck ur money out" sigh. i mean my mum even talks bad about me and my sis to my brother!!! i mean what's her point seriously?? its hard to keep anger and insecurities but there are many ways to vent them out. but definitely not within the family??!! ah whatever. i'm just going to repay what i owed them in my past life and that's that. i'm really happy and lucky to have my sisters(my besties) and scruffy. and i really thank God for giving them to me, cos they're my source of encouragement when i feel like a total bitch, they're the ones who make me calm down and think rationally and notice what i have in life that can never be replaced. thank you lord. and thank you my friends.* Friday, December 16, 2005well.. yesterday was really really fun. really enjoyed myself.er, let's see. yesterday, the hong nahm club had a gathering, though 2 of them couldn't make it, but we had a really fun time together. went to PS and decided to watch "the promise". Ok, my comments? i think it was an OK show, isn't exactly worth paying 8 bucks for. erm, it isn't the nice nice love story ending as i would have wished it was, in fact the show was kinda, illogical to me in a way. then again, how many shows aren't illogical to me rite. ok. so ya, if there's a choice between king kong and the promise, i suggest u try king kong though i haven't watch it, but i heard tt's worth ur money. yup. so, our movie was scheduled at 1.40, so we headed for lunch first. ate at yoshinoya, then went to take neoprint. TT was erm, scary. there were like 12 shots!! and we were frantically trying to get our faces into the little screen(although we got decived by the wide space) and u know what's worse, the background screens ket coming down on our heads!! haha.. but it was way fun, everyone kept laughing and groaning. i mean its tiring for the people kneeling at the front rite. ok, after the movie, rushed down to meet scruffy. erm, was like half an hour late so ya, he was kinda mad. =X but anyhow, we shopped around, walked bugis street but no suitable tops for me. spot si hui at parco with her mum, and her sis i suppose, and she said "cartan arh... *wags finger*" i really wanted to say "si hui arh.. where's ..." hehe.. but i didn't lar, cos otherwise she'll be in deep trouble, wouldn't want to do that to a friend rite.. so yup... now you know why i really enjoyed yesterday. haha.. erm, headed for tuition after that. was falling asleep during tuition.. oops. erm, ate u-main, from the hawker center at bedok central. was super broke by then. the noodles really good. *thumbs up* =) yup, that's all for yesterday. take care everyone!!! Monday, December 12, 2005alright, that's what i've been doing over the past few erm... weeks?? and shopping too.. which means... i HAVEN DONE ANY WORK!!!! ARGH!!!i'm so freaking dead. especially for physics. tt topic i'm seriously screwed.. and i'm suppose to work hard for it this hols. alright, i have decided... i'm going to work my butts off! =) but i'm going out. so many days too. oh ya, big news, i lost my house key. i'm just sooo lucky u know. and my mum just said. "ni wei she mo ze me shuai de". yup. and i still miss thailand like crazy. oh ya!! had this crazy encounter with a shoe shop at tampines area. erm, kinda blew my mum off her head.. as usual ah wells. things do happen. but i must say i'm quite disappointed at times with the service sector. i mean when u don't dress up and all, they don't give a damn about u even when u walk into the shop. if not, they give u those condesending looks tt makes u feel u just wannaslap them right across the face. i mean, being in the service sector, shouldn't u treat someone with more respect, whether or not the person dresses up? or must it be that we must all dress up so that we would be given good service? i don't think that's the case. sometimes, i feel that some salesmen just go overboard and not know where their limits are. ah wells... okie! shall end here. can't wait for all the gatherings to come. *chuckles* i know.. what happened to the studying rite... *shrugs* ;) Wednesday, December 07, 2005my cookies failed. terribly.OK, u know why, its cos i took the recipe for choc chip shortbread and NOT cookies.. so tt's y it didn't taste like cookies. i THINK. or maybe i'm just trying to console myself which is most likely the case but nvm! haha.. anyways.. i baked cake just now.. it worked k.. just that i haven tasted it and this time, the mixture is ready made.. (blushes) kinda embarassing lar, but nvm! now as you can see below, the cakes are on 2 trays and the words "written" wih icing sugar using a spoon and fork is YU WEI, tt's my bro's name, decided to do something nice since its his birthday today. yup...   HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO.. hope you'd like the little surprise... yup... and i do hope you'll be more mannered. AND i hope tt we wouldn't quarrel so much. Anyhow, all the best in ur studies especially and hope you get into a great sec school next year. alright, done with well wishes. erm... what else.. went down to do homework for the last 2 days.. kinda miss my besties who are now all away excpet for cindy. but i think she's at some church camp. alright. i'm all alone!!! *weeps* alright, shall end here. take care pple!! Monday, December 05, 2005well.. i guess i'm finally getting back to the habit of having to realise i need to study non-stop and i've got millions of homework waiting to get done. kinda dread the idea, i mean who wouldn't love just to be on a holiday or better still, to just be with the kids in thailand for a super long time.But i guess all good things have to come to an end, but i'll be back there for sure. can't wait for that day. got cookies on the 2nd month, still haven got him anything... hm.. anyways.. the important thing to note today... CARLENE'S GONNA BAKE COOKIES!!! haha... and i've no more voice.. can hardly speak properly.. in fact i can't even speak english properly anymore. i really wonder what my drama teacher will say when i go take diploma the year after. hm... so anyways... i wanna send my greatest CONGRAGULATIONS toSAC SJAB!!! for winning 2nd in the nursing adult team.. but dun be too complacent ok... and for the sec 1s and 2s, you still got time, don't lose hope alright, cos i see tons of potential waiting to be unravelled.. i'll be back!!! =) Thursday, December 01, 2005From this moment on by Shania twain(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything and everything and I will always care. Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse, I will love you With every beat if my heart.) From this moment life has begun From this moment you are the one Right beside you is where I belong From this moment on From this moment I have been blessed I live only for your happiness And for your love I'd give my last breath From this moment on I give my hand to you with all my heart Can't wait to live my life with you can't wait to start You and I will never be apart My dreams came true because of you From this moment as long as I live I will love you, I promise you this There is nothing I wouldn't give From this moment on You're the reason I believe in love And you're the answer to my prayers from up above All we need is just the two of us My dreams came true because of you From this moment as long as I live I will love you, I promise you this There is nothing I wouldn't give From this moment I will love you as long as I live From this moment on -end- Wouldn't it be great if all love stories could end like that? Wouldn't it be perfect if people knew what they really wanted from the start. Wouldn't it be marvellous if we could all appreciate what we have around us and stop complaining. Wouldn't it be great if all fairy tales have a happy ending. I wonder hows my snail coping now. i wonder if there's still this boulder in her heart she can't let go. letting go isn't all that easy as we all know, it takes so much courage, so much strength and self motivation to keep oneself going despite all that's happen. To pretend everything's alright when you know it isn't. To be classmates again when things would nver be the same. I hope dear lord you bestow this courage on her and turtle so she may too pick up herself and realise that she can live on without him. That one day, no matter what he says will no longer hurt her any further. Give her the courage to speak out all she has to him and let them meet so things could be cleared up, and she can leave with a peace of mind. Help them dear lord. And may the kids in khao lak be forever happy and gay, and may opportunities come knocking their doors, and may they always be blessed. It's my daddy's birthday in a few mintues time, and i just want him to know how much i appreciate whatever he's doing for the family, and although mum always say u take her money and don't give her allowances which is very unkind of u, but still, you're the best dad. Thanks for all ur care, although u seldom show it but i know from how hard u work that you care for the family. and pls do be careful at work because i can't imagine not having you around at home, cracking all the jokes to lighten the mood. to make everyone see light when the house turns dark. Thank you daddy, and happy happy birthday, may the good lord bless you and may things go smoothly. Love ya loads. I have a turtle whose my best friend. She's my double's partner in badminton. She's got china doll looking hair now. She's about my height, got this "thing" for snickers. LOVES strawberry youghurt milk, LOVES her sisters, LOVES shanghai(because she can buy loads of cheap stuff here) ^.^ LOVES crapping away, last but not least, like all of us, hates duck. now make a guess? who can tt be?? HM>>>>>>>>> its.... ................. ....................... MEI YI!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!! alright, having made my wishes to her, i will now start on my entry, hehe. I went back to SAC today, trained the juniors. Was kinda disappointed cause, well nvm, not important. i just really hope they work hard so they can make the fullest use of their potential cause i know they've got it, they're just not working on it. And i really do hope they fully maximise this ability bestowed upon them. And i'm actually quite pleased with the performance of the sec 1s, cause they are only sec 1s, but it seems their grasp of first aid and footdrill surpases their seniors. So i'm actually quite amazed. I guess i can only constantly keep them in my prayers till saturday. Good luck guys!!! Yup, on the heavier note, kinda found out some stuff tt isn't really pleasant. Just hope whoever knows what's going on don't get offended cos we really dun mean to hurt or injure or offend anyone, anything said within us will be kept in the four walls. guarantee. alright, what's next. erm. oh oh!! now lighter note! erm, finally got to spend some time with my doggie. Really enjoyed it to the max. happy event. gonna spend time with my pals again 2mr. another happy time. but not so happy at night cos i'm going for tuition. *weeps* Alright, i better run along now. got piano in the morning 2mr. tata everyone!! |
